 Do you know what it is to be loving? Can you feel the difference between
what's loving and what's not? Is there a curiosity about this?
Compassion is simply the way love expresses itself.
It is love in action…as
it flows within the heart, and out into the world. When we are fully
aware of another's pain and.suffering…….... difficulties
and challenges…our hearts are naturally open, and we embrace the
other, with a loving, caring response. Sometimes more is called for.
Sometimes simply seeing and loving…is all that is necessary. It
is our undivided, whole, clear, open, awareness that embraces the other…….embraces
the situation .. and knows what to do…..just being is enough…..And
nothing is in the way.
"Compassion
is simply
the way love
expresses itself.
It is love in action…
as it flows
within the heart,
and out into the world." |
Is there a motivation…a desire…to find out what gets in
the way? When our awareness is clouded and dull, we are unconsciously
reacting…and being triggered in situations that become full of
suffering and pain. At those times, we are so caught up in the pain we
experience, we are not even aware of anything else. Thinking about what
has just happened….what caused this mess is the farthest thing
from our mind.
If we are to enter into a process of change in our
behavior, we need to be open to a new perspective. We need to be
noticing our situation…wondering
what we can do to stop hurting ourselves and others. We need to see that
whether we explode or implode, we take more pain on ourselves….and
pass that pain onto others, in a never ending chain of unconscious reactivity.
We need to understand that a possibility for change exists…..and
want it for ourselves. There needs to be a deeply felt curiosity about
how to change this personal pattern of behavior.
It is our natural desire to be loved and loving.
This is what gives us the energy and motivation for more awareness……. for
finding out what gets in the way….for wanting to feel more compassion
in one's life.
"We
need to understand
that a possibility
for change exists…
and want it for ourselves." |
Having more awareness of the mess we're in, is part
of a process that takes time. Usually we notice that we were in reaction
after a painful event ….sometimes days…months or years later… With
practice, we become aware of our reactivity closer and closer to the
event. At some point in the process, we can be aware in the midst of
our reaction….and then, we can begin to recognize the internal
signs before we are triggered into reaction.
Let's talk about what it is that gets in the way. Unless we understand
what that is, unless we can see the root cause of obstacles, (the stuff
that's in the way to this all-embracing openhearted possibility of living)
we will not uncover our own potential for living compassionately.
What is it that covers up our compassion? One way
to begin uncovering our compassion is to understand how our unexamined "stories" block
its expression. You may be wondering what is meant by the word "stories'.
We are referring to the relationship we have with our personal history
and how we think and talk about it to ourselves and others. You might
think, "my father hated me" , or "my brother…or
sister was better at everything, than I was". You likely have a
particular way of describing a relationship with a brother, sister, mother
or father. You probably find yourself describing your work in a particular
way……. again and again. Think about how you talk about
your spouse, and your children.
Can you see that the way you describe your life can be called storytelling?
We are each the main character in a book called "The Story of My
Life". Our stories have been written by us throughout our lives.
We have looked for meaning, and connected experiences to beliefs and
concepts that fit our understanding at the time. We have tied together
all our experiences with people, places and things in "our story"-
just as a writer of fiction creates a story line, main characters and
themes.
"...
unless we can see
the root cause of obstacles
... we will not uncover
our own potential
for living compassionately." |
We have molded our story to fit our world view. We are
usually attached to our interpretation of our story, as well. When
a parent is abusive, a child will usually believe that it is his or
her fault. This interpretation may be made in a child's mind…and is not usually questioned. The
child can grow up carrying this belief, that somehow, he or she was responsible
for……and…or….. deserving of the abuse that
was experienced.
Or, perhaps, parents get divorced, and children feel it's their fault …..or
a parent dies and a child feels responsible because there had been
an argument and mean things were said before the parent died.
These beliefs continue to create pain and suffering within us, when
they are left unexplored. These interpretations of our personal history
will continue to live in us, even though they are based on the past,
and may be incorrect, and may have no relevance to what is happening
right now. These unconscious stories can wreck havoc on our emotional,
social, physical and mental condition. Can you see this?
"We
are each
the main character
in a book called
"The Story of My Life". |
When we begin to explore our stories, we notice beliefs
we have blindly accepted. When we take the time to explore them, we
can see that they are often based in fiction. Then we can begin to
trust what feels true and what doesn't. By gently examining our stories
and beliefs…with
no blame…no accusation………., we find our hearts
opening…. just a bit at first. We can carefully, honestly, wonder
what is true……We can stay open to whatever comes up…….Then
we can see a slightly bigger picture and appreciate an expanded, more
compassionate view of our own life story.
As we notice our prejudices and consciously explore
our beliefs, our heart can expand to include those we have kept
out. People of a different country, religion, race, sex, sexual orientation,
or financial situation can then be embraced, instead of excluded
from our heart. Continuing with this work, we can see more of why we're
in so much pain. We can see more of why others are in so much pain.
Our ability to feel empathy, the ability to be moved by the pain
of others …grows.
We can also see how living with unexamined beliefs gets in the way of
experiencing our present situation directly and honestly.
"As
we notice our
prejudices and consciously
explore our beliefs,
our heart can expand
to include those
we have kept out." |
Confusion based in our unexamined beliefs and stories
can create and sustain world problems, such as war. If we look at
what happened on Sept.11, we can assume that the terrorists who carried
out their mission were confused. They each came from a family. They
may have wanted to be loved and loving. They may have believed the
people they were killing were evil. They may have believed they would
have a positive effect on the world…They likely thought it was
the good and right thing to do. The stories the terrorists told themselves
probably covered up any compassion they might have felt for the people
they were to kill.
We can see the potentially terrible effects of not examining our stories,
not because we are in danger of becoming terrorists, but because we also
create pain from unexplored, unconscious beliefs.
How do I begin this work myself? First, notice when
you're caught in your story, notice the confusion………then wonder, "Is
this working for me?"……"Is this who I really
want to be?"……" What is blocking my heart?" When
we are curious, honestly wanting to know what's blocking the compassion,
the work begins.
 Looking
within …curious…exploring with awareness…….without
judgment…not knowing what the answers are…. brings an active
open curiosity to What Is. ….and brings to life a compassionate
exploration of self. And then we are compassion…nothing else to
do…..just practicing ….. just noticing… …….just
right here….right now.
Sometimes we blame others for our present situation, and get caught
up in right or wrong. We don't question or see our responsibility. It's
really never about the other person's behavior. We cannot change another.
We are each responsible for how we respond to our own thoughts, beliefs,
and actions.
This work is about growing our heart's response
to the pain in the world…It's
about untangling the web of our confusion, and being love.
Compassion is truly uncovered when we embrace a
way of living that is honest, courageous, and aware. When we remember
to bring our awareness back to our breath, back to the moment,
we are being compassion. When we remember to bring our awareness back
to the moment, to whatever is happening IN the moment, we are awake
and alive to whatever is needed. The heart will always be there, ready
for compassionate response….
whenever it's needed. It's the way things work. It's the way we were
made.
Please take care. Thank you.
|
